Tag Archive: syfy

Jun 05

Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf

sharktopusvswhalewolfGenre: Action / Sci-Fi
Year: 2015
Country: USA

Director: Kevin O’Neill
Starring: Casper Van Dien, Catherine Oxenberg, Akari Endo, Jennifer Wenger, Jorge Eduardo De Los Santos

 

 

 

Mar 27

Boogeyman

nocoverGenre: Horror
Year: 2012
Country: USA

Director: Jeffrey Scott Lando
Starring: Eddie McClintock, Amy Bailey, Christian Hammerdorfer, Danny Horn, Ian Redford

 

A couple of kids are playing football and before they go home one of the bigger kids throws Jacobs cellphone into the window of an old house. The house is known since a creepy guy called Old Man Skinner lives there. Jacob goes in to find his phone and removes the chains off the door to the room where his phone should be.

Before he is able to go in and retrieve his phone, his older brother Isaac yells after him since Skinner is on his way home. What they don’t know is that the chains on the door was there to hold the Boogeyman captive, and now he is free to kill whoever he can get his hands on.

Skinner is found dead shortly after and the case is handled by deputy Michael, who is the father of Isaac and Jacob, and his partner Rebecca, who turns out to be the daughter of Skinner. They now have to hunt down the Boogeyman and stop him once and for all.

May 26

Morlocks

morlocksGenre: Sci-Fi / Horror
Year: 2011
Country: USA

aka: Time Machine: Rise of the Morlocks

Director: Matt Codd
Starring: Harnish Clark, Christina Cole, David Hewlett, Daniel Caltagirone, Jim Fyfe

 

Morlocks is another CGI monster movie from the good people at Syfy. Morlocks is a name first mentioned in as a description of the underground dwellers in H.G. Wells’s classic book The Time Machine. In this movie they are represented by some very bad CGI (as always with Syfy) and apparently are the future cousins of the human race. Guess I’m gonna call my cousins for morlocks in our family gatherings from now on.

The american government has been able to create a time machine, probably after watching Stargate since it looks like a direct ripoff of it. The time machine is controlled by a remote control sort of device that is needed to open up the gate for travelling. Army soldiers are sent into the future to gather information about what lies ahead of us and meets our beloved little morlocks.

Mar 08

Jabberwock

jabberwockGenre: Action / Sci-Fi
Year: 2011
Country: USA

Director: Steven R. Monroe
Starring: Tahmoh Penikett, Michael Worth, Kacey Barnfield, Raffaello Degruttola, Hugh Ross

 

 

Let the riveting tale of the Jabberwock unfold in front of you. The embracing powers of reunion between long lost brothers, the lust of love that has never been revealed, the honor and strength of warriors and the fight between the evil of the beast and the courage of the man!

Ok, maybe this was a little oversaturating. Jabberwock is however a Syfy Production made in 2011. A jabberwock is a creature created in a poem by Lewis Carroll. It is a flying pre-historic dragon looking beast that have probably looked more scary in other tales than it does in this movie. The treatment the creature has gotten in this Syfy movie is… well, the Syfy treatment of poor CGI.

The story is set in the medieval times and is centered around a small village (very small actually, I think there where 20 people tops there), who are getting attacked by this Jabberwock that has has come to life after lightening made its egg hatch (makes sense right?). Oh, and by the way, the beast grows from a small babywock to a full-grown jabberwock in ten seconds.

Feb 22

Sharktopus

sharktopusGenre: Sci-Fi / Horror
Year: 2010
Country: USA

Director: Declan O’Brien
Starring: Eric Roberts, Kerem Bursin, Sara Malakul Lane, Hector Jimenez, Liv Boughn

 

Half-Shark. Half-Octopus. All Terror.

 

I’m a huge fan of The X-Files. After watching every episode there is from that show I’ve come to the conclusion that the american government have a lot of evil plans that are hidden from the public. So I have no problem buying the concept of the american government making a «secret weapon» by mutating a shark and octopus into a SHARKTOPUS.

And of course the experiment goes wrong and the S-11 (project name for the sharktopus, makes you wonder what happened to S-1 – S-10?) is free to terrorize beaches everywhere. And where do you go if you want to eat human flesh? Mexico of course!

This is a Syfy movie produced by b-movie master Roger Corman, starring Eric Roberts and a bunch of hot chicks. A LOT of chicks actually and most get a minute or two of screen time before they become food for our beloved seapet. The body count is quite high in this movie and some of them are fun and inventive. Eric Roberts is also fun to watch and look out for a cameo of Corman aswell. The sharktopus looks great considering what you would expect from a movie like this. And I can’t brag and say that I have seen a real sharktopus so I’m gonna have faith in that this was as close as a real one would be.

Feb 12

Scarecrow

scarecrowGenre: Horror
Year: 2013
Country: USA

Director: Sheldon Wilson
Starring: Lacey Chabert, Richard Harmon, Robin Dunne, Nicole Munoz, Julia Maxwell

 

He’ll scare you… to death

 

The high school teacher Aaron is taking a group of students that he has put on detention out to an abandoned farm to bring back a scarecrow display for their local holiday celebration. What they did not expect is an evil spirit in the form of a real Scarecrow lurking around on the farm, looking for fresh prey to feed upon.

So, here we have yet another Syfy original movie. Scarecrow has the same feel as the late 90’s post-Scream slasher films with young high school teens (played by 20+ year olds) going somewhere and then being attacked by an evil entity.

It starts out fine enough and quickly introduces the characters and then gets on to the monster and the murders. Our main hero is Lacey Chabert as Kristen, although she isn’t really playing anybody but is here to bring in a few extra viewers and be good looking while she is fighting off the scarecrow, something she does quite well… looking good that is.

Nov 10

True Bloodthirst

truebloodthirstGenre: Horror
Year: 2012
Country: USA

aka: Vampyre Nation

Director: Todor Chapkanov
Starring: Ben Lambert, Ewan Bailey, Claudia Bassols, Roark Critchlow, Neil Jackson

 

Their rise our fall

 

True Bloodthirst is set in the very near future where vampires have been able to come out of the darkness, thanks to a synthetic blood substitute, and co-exist with humans. In Bucharest, Romania however, an even more dangerous species has emerged and is a threat to both humans and vampires. This new super vampire is a mutation caused by a virus and is creating deadly man-sized vampire bats out of the vampires.

Detective Derricks has been investigating some brutal murders in the USA and is now heading to Romania to find out what is causing this. With him is newly freed vampire hunter Johnny Harker and his gang. When they arrive in Romania they seek out the ancient vampire Anghel and gets information about this new super vampire. One of Anghel’s sons has been infected with this virus and he let’s the crew “borrow” his remaining son Nikolai with them on the mission to stop these super vampires once and for all.

Oct 10

Alien Apocalypse

alienapocalypseGenre: Sci-Fi
Year: 2005
Country: USA

Director: Josh Becker
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Renee O’Connor, Remington Franklin, Michael Cory Davis, Peter Jason

 

Yesterday, they were only astronauts. Today, they’re humanity’s only hope.

 

Dr. Ivan Hood has been frozen for 40 years and is just now returning together with his fellow astronauts back to planet Earth hoping that his doctor skills will be just as valuable, or even more than it was in his age.

However, a lot has changed in 40 years and Earth is not what it used to be. Instead of having humans on top of the food chain, the planet has been invaded by insect looking aliens who are now keeping the human race as slaves. Dr. Hood wants none of this and is ready to sacrifice his life in order to beat the alien scumbags.

Alien Apocalypse is a Sci-Fi (yeah, before they became Syfy) Original movie that is only remembered (if it can even be called that) for one thing – the leading star Bruce Campbell. And that’s pretty much the only reason to even consider watching this failure of a film in the first place. Syfy has made some terrible films during their years, but this one has to be in the bottom of the toilet. It’s one thing that the film isn’t meant to be taken seriously, but there is absolutely no fun humour in it either.

May 21

Children of the Corn

childrenofthecorn2009Genre: Horror
Year: 2009
Country: USA

aka: Stephen King’s Children of the Corn

Director: Donald P. Borchers
Starring: David Anders, Kandyse McClure, Daniel Newman, Preston Bailey, Robert Gerdisch

 

 

The unhappy couple of the ex-soldier Burt and ex-prom queen Vicky are nagging on each other driving through Nebraska when suddenly a young boy appears in the middle of the road and they run him over.

The boy dies and the couple drives to the nearby town of Gatlin where they try to find some assistance. Gatlin is however not a normal town and there are no adults to be found. The children of the town has taken over and all the adults have been slaughtered and the couple is now finding themselves in danger of ending up with the same faith as the parents of these children.

The Children of the Corn saga had been dead and buried for nearly ten years when this made for TV (Syfy out of all networks actually) remake popped up. The idea was to make a film that was more based on the original story by Stephen King than what the 1984 movie was but although they might succeed on that point (I don’t believe I ever read King’s short story), everything else in this film is worse than the original film and even worse than all of the sequels aswell.

May 04

Jersey Shore Shark Attack

jerseyshoreGenre: Horror / Comedy
Year: 2012
Country: USA

Director: John Sheppird
Starring: Jeremy Luc, Melissa Molinaro, Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino, William Atherton

 

Your worst fears will surface.

 

Yo, check it bro! Sharks are attacking the shore yo! And they got those big teeth bro! Ain’t no fistpumpin’ in the club with sharks outside, knahmean? One of the guido’s is like missing and we know he been taken by them sharks yo. Police be all up in our faces sayin’ he just drowned and stuff, but we know better bro! So we round up our gang and hunt those sharks down yo! Bro! Yo!

Syfy’s shark movies have become pretty much self-parody movies already, so why not do something that parodies both their own movies and a popular TV phenomenon? Jersey Shore is a successful and very hated TV show without any real qualities except dumb entertainment. The idea of combining that with a shark movie is quite genius and smart.

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