Feb 24

Tales from the Crapper

Year: 2004
Country: USA

Directors: Gabriel Friedman, Chad Ferrin, Dave Paiko, Brian Spitz, Lloyd Kaufman
Starring: Lloyd Kaufman, Julie Strain, Kevin Eastman, Joe Fleishaker, Rob Zazzali



The Crapkeeper emergers from the toilet to present two tales of horror for us all to enjoy. The first one is called “The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater” and is about an alien who has crash landed on planet earth and has to fix his spaceship. The alien spends most of his time in strip clubs, enjoying the look of the females and also by murdering innocent people.

A big breasted cop is doing whatever she can to stop this evil alien plans and goes undercover as a stripper to find him and stop him once and for all. After this story ends, we get a ten minute interlude where the Crapkeeper learns the audience on how they too can make no budget films.

The second and last story, “Tuition of the Terror Twat” begins and it is about a group of young students who needs to raise some fast cash so that one of them will be able to pay for college. They decide that it would be a good idea to hold a party filled with strippers, but little do they know that the strippers they have hired are in fact bloodsucking vampires!

During my years as a cinema lover I have watched a lot of terrible Troma movies. Some are just bad, some are boring and the worst ones are both. Tales from the Crapper is at the bottom of the… toilet bowl I guess. The production values make it look like a porn film and the only good parts about it are the few scenes with gore of the nudity that is shown throughout the film.

It should be said that this production was not an easy one. After creating a fun web-comic for their website, Troma put up $200,000 dollars to produce a series which would also be release on their website. The series would be made by the previous Playmate of the Year India Allen, but when Troma got the footage back they were not happy.

The production values looked, like I’ve mentioned, like a cheap porn film, the camerawork was shoddy, the acting was terrible. Actually, everything was terrible! Lloyd Kaufman however, is used to working with crap and figured out a way to still create something out of this footage by re-working the project and re-shooting some footage and dub over the original audio to create the movie that we all can watch and dislike today.

Kaufman even called up some Hollywood friends and got cameo’s from Trey Parker, James Gunn, Ron Jeremy (well, he would probably have shown up anyway), Ted Raimi, Debbie Rochon, Eli Roth and even Wes Craven. Quite an unusual thing for Troma to do, but I guess that says a lot about how terrible this stuff is.

If you have a fetish for toilet humour then you might find the fart sounds that are used every fifth minute very funny, but for me this became too much even by Troma standards. Both stories star Julie Strain, and she is well.. Julie Strain. If you like her, then that’s a good thing, if not then you would probably not buy this film anyway.

Tales from the Crapper is terrible, even by Troma standards. It’s too bad, since I wouldn’t mind seeing Troma put out a horror anthology film, but as Lloyd Kaufman himself has described this, Tales from the Crapper is an “abortion of a movie”.




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