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Jan 01

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout

horrorwGenre: Comedy / Sport / Horror
Year: 1990
Country: USA

Director: Kenneth J. Hall
Starring: Linnea Quigley, Jane Holzer, Amy Hunt, Victoria Nesbitt, Kristine Seeley

 

SEE! Sexy young girls die in a slumber party massacre workout!

 

Sweet ol’ 80’s! The decade for horror and fantasy… and scream queens! Linnea Quigley is one of the most known scream queens of the 1980’s. She played in countless b-movies such as Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and usually showed some skin which young horror fans always do appreaciate. At the height of her popularity Cinema Home Video decided to make a workout video with her. It’s cheap, easy, fast and will most definitely make money so why not?

This cheesefest starts with Linnea in the shower displaying the joy of getting clean before a hard workout. Then she tells us about the rough life of being a horror queen where we also get to see some neat clips from classics such as Creepozoids, Assault of the Party Nerds and Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. The exercise then begins and Linnea shows her uhm… stretching abilities while some groovy 80’s disco tune is playing.

«This increases your ability to put your legs in the air»

Ten minutes later and both we and Linnea are getting tired from the exercise… or maybe it’s just the music, we switch over to a jogging scene out in the woods next to a cemetery. Surprise, surprise, zombies emerges from the graves! I’m not surprised that they are angry and woke up from the dead considering the music from the last scene yet again joined us here. Does this end up with tearing of flesh? Not quite, how about an aerobic session by the pool instead. Nothing makes you more motivated to lose that fat then seeing the undead work out, right?

«Stretch your muscles! That’s right! Stretch ’em… not THAT muscle!»

And what’s a workout without a slumber party, right? Linnea asks some friends to join her for popcorn, pillow fight and horror movies (all while wearing skimpy pyjama’s of course). After watching some more classic clips from Linnea’s movies we yet again get the horrible music back but also an exercise scene with all the girls doing all kinds of moves that are great for you.. to look at. After another thrilling session has ended the lights go out and a killer emerges. The suspense reaches an all-time high in cinematic history while our young, hot ladies tries to find out what has happened to keep themselves alive. In the end it shows that not only do you need to exercise regularly to stay in shape, but also have other extra hobbies that are good for your body.

The last 5-6 minutes contain bloopers from the production.

As a workout video I don’t know how this holds up next to the Jane Fonda’s out there, but this is a fun tape to pop in if you’re having a Halloween party or something similar. It’s a must-have for Quigleyfans and also a nice little item to have if you’re a huge horror buff. And frankly, if you’re gonna watch something called Horror Workout you should know what you are getting yourself into. I haven’t seen it, but if you are into horror workout films then this could probably be a good double bill together with Killer Workout from 1987.

 

 ★★☆☆☆ 

 

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