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Jan 15

Creepshow III

creepshow3Genre: Horror
Year: 2006
Country: USA

Director: Ana Clavell, James Glenn Dudelson
Starring: Stephanie Pettee, A.J. Bowen, Bunny Gibson, Camillie Lacey, Bo Kresic

 

Tales of murder, mayhem and madness

 

There’s a third Creepshow you say? Indeed it is and this film was created in 2006 by a production company named Taurus Entertainment Company together with Creepy Films Productions. They first got the rights to make a low budget sequel to George Romero’s Day of the Dead, this one being called Day of the Dead 2: Contagium and apparently they also secured the rights to do a sequel to one of the greatest horror anthology films ever created – Creepshow.

There is a sort of wraparound story here as in the two previous Creepshow films, but it not based on the EC comic books this time around and… I’m not even sure how to describe it. There is some awful computer animations that starts off the film and the ending does have a nod to the other Creepshow movies, but it is all just worthless really.

The first segment is called “Alice” and it is about a teenage girl named… Alice who comes home to see her family sit around in the living room going about their business. Her father has received a new universal remote control that he is trying to get to work with his television set. Whenever he pushes a button it in, he transfers Alice to another dimension and in effect also turns her into a mutant.

If the poor animations at the start of the film didn’t make you regret pressing play on this film, then surely the first segment will do the job. Actress Stephanie Pettee is very cute, but that’s about the only positive thing I have to say about this story. I don’t see why any filmmaker would think that this was a story that needed to be told or how anyone else could agree to it. It’s just a big waste of time, and yet it is still not the worst of this anthology film..

The second story is called “The Radio”. This time we follow a security guard named Jerry who lives in a sleazy ghetto apartment complex filled with questionable characters. When his old radio breaks down he goes out on the dirty streets to buy a used one from an elderly homeless person. The radio eventually starts to speak to Jerry and together with his new “friend”, he gets himself into trouble with a lot of stolen cash, a neighbor prostitute and her pimp.

The concept of this story isn’t that far away from something that could have been told in the original Creepshow films, but the execution of it is just too amateurish for it to raise any interest at all. It is not as boring as most of the other stories though and A.J. Bowen as Jerry is watchable enough. In a better anthology film this would have been a filler segment, in Creepshow 3 it is kind of a positive standout story.

The next one up is called “Call Girl”. It is about a prostitute that murders her victims that come up against a client that more than what meets the eye. It’s another very simple story, this time featuring a supernatural creature (was it supposed to be a vampire?) that delivers nothing interesting or anything making it worth its running time.

The fourth one, if you have even made it so far, is called “The Professor’s Wife” and it is a silly story about a professor who has invited two of his students over to meet his fiancée. They suspect that the professor has made a robot and decide to open up his fiancée to see how the professor has made her, although it turns out she is in fact a human being.

…And that’s that. There’s nothing else about the story. They slaughter this girl and that’s supposed to be very funny I guess. It is just silly and there’s nothing to it at all. it’s something that anyone could have filmed, but thankfully few would put in a movie. Just awful stuff.

The final and thankfully last part of this anthology is called “Haunted Dog”. And that’s not about a ghost dog, but rather about a miserable and unfriendly doctor who buys a hot dog that he misses on the ground. He then gives it to a homeless person who dies after eating it, and then starts to haunt the grumpy doctor. So… haunted hot dog, I guess.

We see this doctor turn a bit screwy after he has treated all of his patients terribly. I dunno, at this point it was hard to even pay attention to what was going on. If you look past the poor special effects of the movie, then the production values are ok but the storytelling and material that they try to bring to the screen is just terrible.

It’s almost like they knew that the title alone would be enough to sell a few DVD copies and when they got the rights to it they felt like they had done their job. Telling fun or scary stories was certainly not their mission. It also sucks that the title got used for this terrible film as there surely is a demand out there for a real new Creepshow film.

In other words, just skip this. Don’t be fooled by the title, there’s nothing to have fun with in this film. Creepshow 3 is terrible, boring and has absolutely nothing to offer.

 

 ★☆☆☆☆ 

 

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